{"id":3777,"date":"2012-07-07T21:51:09","date_gmt":"2012-07-07T21:51:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.crimeculture.com\/?page_id=3777"},"modified":"2012-07-09T11:00:06","modified_gmt":"2012-07-09T11:00:06","slug":"the-problem-of-the-overtired-undergrad","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.crimeculture.com\/?page_id=3777","title":{"rendered":"The Problem of the Overtired Undergrad"},"content":{"rendered":"

by\u00a0Ari Scott-Zechlin<\/span><\/h3>\n

[Read our interview with Ari…]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

I wake at 7:23 am to my flatmates yelling at each other through the bathroom door.<\/p>\n

\u201cJohn!\u00a0 JOHN!\u201d<\/p>\n

I groan and wriggle further underneath the covers, pressing the duvet over my ears in hopes it will muffle the insistent pounding of Sherlock\u2019s fist against the door.\u00a0 Having gone to bed only three hours ago after finishing a paper on the portrayal of hired help in Victorian fiction, I am hardly amused by my fellow students\u2019 morning ritual\u2014although, of course, I never am.<\/p>\n

\u201cSherlock, I\u2019m trying to shower!\u201d I hear John shout back.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve got a case, you can\u2019t shower!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, I bloody well can!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJohn, stop being stupid and hurry up!\u00a0 John!\u00a0 JOHN!\u201d<\/p>\n

Not for the first time, I contemplate going out and shoving Sherlock \u201cMajoring in Criminology and Insufferability\u201d Holmes\u2019 face into the wall, but that would require dragging myself out of bed and losing all hope of getting back to sleep.\u00a0 Sometimes I think John\u2014good-looking and reasonable\u2014will put a stop to it, but I\u2019m starting to give up on that idea\u2014 especially when Sherlock\u2019s pounding and yelling of the past three minutes is interrupted not<\/em> with a lesson in consideration for the sleep-deprived state of others, but rather with John Watson finally opening the door to yell\u2014<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, I\u2019m coming!\u201d<\/p>\n

For a pre-med student, you\u2019d think John would\u2019ve heard of Pavlov\u2019s dog and learned a thing or two about classical conditioning.<\/p>\n

I like to explain Sherlock and John to my friends back home by saying they\u2019re basically a married couple, except one of them\u2019s got a girlfriend and neither of them knows how to wash dishes.\u00a0 I\u2019ve no idea what I did to get thrown in a university flat with these two, but it must\u2019ve been something on a par with stealing from homeless people or drowning kittens.\u00a0 Our kitchen table is covered in test tubes and beakers, there are always hysterical people in our living room, and I can\u2019t watch a mystery programme without Sherlock shouting the answer five minutes in.\u00a0 Of course, Res Life doesn\u2019t care, especially now that John\u2019s blog is getting the Uni so much attention.<\/p>\n

The blog is<\/em> nice, though.\u00a0 I especially appreciate the bit of the description that reads, \u201cAll our thanks to Martha H, who does our dishes and only rarely threatens to kill us.\u00a0 She is clearly a saint.\u201d<\/p>\n

It is, I think, their best deduction yet.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by\u00a0Ari Scott-Zechlin [Read our interview with Ari…] I wake at 7:23 am to my flatmates yelling at each other through<\/p>\n

Continue readingThe Problem of the Overtired Undergrad<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":779,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crimeculture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3777"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crimeculture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crimeculture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crimeculture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/779"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crimeculture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3777"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.crimeculture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3777\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3901,"href":"https:\/\/www.crimeculture.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3777\/revisions\/3901"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crimeculture.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3777"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}